The Masses are Asses

I have been a fucking slacker this week. I promised someone updates all week, and I have failed miserably. So here it is, a couple things.

Firstly, have you seen the commercial for an SUV, where the dude’s house is high up on a mountain plateau, and he’s leaving for work. Picture a house teetering on some cliff in the Grand Canyon.

So what does he do? He jumps off the cliff, pulls a chute, and glides safely to the valley floor, gets in his SUV, and drives off. How adventurous, right?

Then the warning. On the bottom of the screen it says in small print:

“Professional stunt. Please do not attempt.”

Wouldn’t that fall into what I term as the “No Shit” category? I mean seriously. WTF? Are people really that stupid that they would try to replicate something like that in person just because they saw it in a commercial?

Yes. People are that stupid. Which is what is wrong with this fucking country. A person individually may be very intelligent, but as they say, The Masses are Asses.

Whistle While You Work.......

Alright, so I know bathroom humor (or humour, as the British would say) is not supposed to be funny. But I am here to inform you that yes, it is indeed funny. Everyone thinks so, it’s just that not everyone will admit it.

Now that we have that out of the way, here’s my latest entry into the archives of bathroom laughs.

In a bathroom stall today is a gentleman disposing of some unwanted baggage. But amongst grunts of effort, he is also whistling a joyful tune.

Now either:

1. He enjoys these visits so much that it inspires him to whistle, or
2. He chooses to remain positive during this time of discomfort and unpleasant scents.

Either way, it’s just not something you hear all the time. But then again, it’s better than him singing opera.

An article in the newspaper yesterday had an article about evolution, specifically how humans evolved from apes. I am not sure I agree with that. Afterall, monkeys are a lot more peaceful than humans.

Driving to work today, I was following an ambulance. Not during an emergency apparently, for they were driving at normal speed and did not have their lights flashing. I noticed that through the large window in the back I could see an elderly man, clearly in pain, holding his chest. He had had better days for sure, and I felt bad for him.

Here I am, going to the same job, same off white windowless office, green fluourescent lighting, and white noise from computers, phones, etc. The same gig that while it’s not bad, it’s not exactly my idea of excitement either.

Had this man, probably in his eighties, lived a more exciting life than me, and now is on his way out, perhaps in pain, but content with the life he has lived?

Maybe he worked outside, breathed the fresh air all day and worked with his hands.

Maybe he was a doctor and saved lives, and helped people.

Maybe he was a lawyer, and fought for peoples’ freedom (or robbed them of it!).

Maybe he was a jazz musician, and spent his nights in a smoky, dimly lit club, on a creaky wooden floor, blowing the smoke from the tubes of his trumpet or trombone.

Of course I imagine all this not because of what this man really did, for I have no idea. He could have had the same job as me. Rather, I imagine it because I wonder what it’s like for people to have a job that’s not a job. It’s a hobby or true love they get paid for.

I guess that’s nearly as elusive as winning the lottery though, right?